=cayaa

...hi 8D

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Wed Dec 9, 2009, 10:31 AM

^{Whoa it's been so long since I've last checked in here!
I doubt anyone missed me, but I still want to let you guys know about my .. situation. Sounds worse than it really is, but I haven't been able to get online because of it so I just want to let you all know I'm not neglecting you or whatever (talking to the online friends in particular here <3) I just feel bad for .. suddenly disappearing!

I'll try to explain what's going on, it's a long story but I'mma try to keep it short xD
3 years ago I got the glandular fever. Kissing disease? (Not sure about the english name..) and, like I said, long story short, I still have it. I still suffer from it every day. Suffer as in, being extremely tired all day every day. And lots of headaches. A day without a headache is very rare. And all this started three years ago. The doctor kept telling me to rest but obviously that didn't work. In the meanwhile I got real bad stomach aches & my back started hurting too, this started 2 years ago and my back became a real issue a few months ago. So. When school started I stopped working, knowing that school + my job would be a killer for me. Sooo I thought that would help, you know. No more job, but it didn't, it only got worse because of school (long days, lots of homework. I'm at an Art Academy studying Graphic Design) And then my colleague told me to go to this 'special' doctor.. So I did. Another long story short: There was something wrong with my spine, some of the bones weren't in the right position. Same with my neck. My head's placed wrong on my body (wtfXD) and some other stuff, but most important, I had poison in my body. And that's the reason why the glendular fever is STILL in my body, and the poison makes it even worse. But fortunately I have medicines to get rid of that poison.

After 3 years of being tired, thinking it's just me, it was SO good to hear there really IS something wrong. So I got medicines I'm not feeling the effect yet, but I'm going to see the doctor next week again for a check and she'll tell me if I'm better than I was when I first came. Who knows, I'm really curious. I'm so fed up of always being tired. Always having to leave parties too early. Always having to tell your friends you can't stay too late because if you do you'll be dead the next 3 days. Always fighting to keep your eyes open. People never understand how I feel, they think I'm boring because I never party, I never drink, I never go out, I always leave early, etc. I've lost friends because of this, and I know who my true friends are.
When one of my classmates asked me what was going on, I explained. She was like "Oh yeah, I have that too sometimes" FUCK NO! NO. NOT SOMETIMES!! EVERY. DAY. FOR 3!!! YEARS! It's driving me crazy. I was almost sinking in some sort of depression. But then the miracle doctor helped me out 8D I'm also seeing the school's psychologist now. It really sounds like I'm a crazy person, like I've gone mad, but I'm just having trouble coping with school and my emotions and stuff. Sounds so dramatic xD

Okay this isn't really short, sorry :c But the combination of this .. and my first year at this school is just making it impossible for me to keep up with dA, FA and the other websites. MSN&AIM also, just haven't had time to get on :c Plus I now have 3 rats to take care of, besides our 2 dogs. Pets come first! Love 'em though!

And artwise.. Wow. I haven't drawn anything since.. I can't even remember. I just haven't had the motivation :/ But the motivation is back, and I can't wait to actually start drawing again. Ofcourse I didn't completely stop drawing, I drew things for school and I doodled during the lessons, but nothing serious. Hope that'll change soon.

I can't promise anything, can't promise if I can be more active, but I really am going to try my best. I miss being online :c

On a happier note. I CAN'T WAIT FOR CHRISTMAS! So excited already, best time of the year! It always puts me in a good mood n__n And the Christmas songs... Ah! 8'D

Well, that's it x3 I hope to submit something on here soon, it's about time!
If you read all this, thank you ;__; means a lot!

What about you guys? How're you all doing? Looking forward to Christmas as well? Let me know, I wanna hear about youuu!

<3
~ Cayaa.

PS: Sorry for sounding.. selfish.. Emoish, sorry. I just needed to get this off my chest. Thank you so much if you read all of it! <3}

20 Comments

Mood: Neutral
Listening to: Christmas music!

back on track?

Fri Aug 14, 2009, 7:28 AM

^{Yes. I'm trying to get back on track here. Pff, I had over 1800 deviations and almost 600 messages. And I still tried to convince myself that I was going to comment all of it.
Well.
Then suddenly the smart part of my brain, if I even have that part, stepped in and convinced me that that was never going to work. The huge amount of messages kinda made me stay away from dA and they only piled up D:

so. I did something terrible.
I deleted every single deviation, after spending like 20 minutes on deleting them manually, 'saving' the ones I really wanted to comment. I did the same with the journals but it took ages and I still had tons of deviations. So I deleted everything D: I feel bad now. But I'll just randomly pop by people I watch and go through their gallery & journal to see what I've missed. : )

It does look good, 14 messages :'D Those are comments I need to reply to xD

In other news, I'm about to finish my part of the badge trade with =salty-dog and then I am free to draw what I want :'D Can't wait!
But better news, for me, is that tomorrow will be my last day of work and then I'll have 3 months off! (Though school starts in less than two weeks!) I need those 3 months to try and get rid of my stupid glandular (sp?) fever aka kissing disease, which has been keeping me down for almost 3 years now.. I've worked waaay too much the past 4 months, so I'm finally going to get some rest : ) And more time to draw & do fun stuff too! :3

Well. I'll probably update this once I've gotten myself a subscription. Not sure how I am going to get one since transferring money to my paypal account isn't really working yet, but I'm sure I'll think of a way :'D I'd like to share some photos with you guys n__n

BUT FIRST. I should upload some art. No more journals until I've uploaded something!}

11 Comments

Mood: Tired
Listening to: Michael Jackson <3
Reading: Breaking Dawn - Stephenie Meyer
Drinking: water

nothing important.

Sun Jan 11, 2009, 8:16 AM

^{^{Melvin..! 8D

will be updated soon..}}

6 Comments

Mood: Excited
Listening to: Good Charlotte <3
Reading: Harry Potter
Watching: Transformers <3
Playing: Tomb Raider Anniversary

so much to tell

Tue Dec 2, 2008, 7:45 AM

^{It's been a while since I last made a journal, the last few weeks were pretty hectic. And still are actually xD
Where to start? Hmm..

• 5th of November
In my last journal I talked about this bad message me and my family got, well, that was about my grandma. She passed away on Wednesday, unexpected. She was sick, and she had very bad Alzheimer, so it was not.. really unexpected. But the week before she was actually doing pretty well. And suddenly she was. gone.. forever.
I miss you Oma

• School
Ooh gosh man, I'm drowned with homework D: And I'm STILL procrastinating, I just
CAN'T
STOP
PROCRASTINATING AHHH. It gets me into trouble x__x But WHY would I do my homework if there are more fun things to do? XD I really need help. I'm sure many of you procrastinate, how do you get yourself to work? Seriously, I need help!! xD
For now the teacher are keeping me busy until the holidays, oww x____x I never thought it would be this hard, ugh D: But I'll manage
I just need to do what I'm supposed to do xD

• RANT. WARNING. BIG XD Feel free to skip this part xD
AHHH AND THERE'S THIS GUY IN MY CLASS. AND HE THINKS HE KNOWS IT ALL. AHH. And he won't stop talking! Seriously, I reallyreally don't like him. He's always boasting about stuff (his iPhone and MacBook for example) and he always talks about his ideas for our school projects (I'm at an art school) and if we aren't interested in his ideas he'll just .. stop for a few seconds.. and then talk about it again AHH. SHUT UP MAN. We're not interested.
The first day I thought he was nice. He asked me if I was good at speaking English .. (Why did he ask that in the first place?) so I was like "Well, I can manage. Spent 2 months in Australia so.. yeah." and then he was like "Oh I suck, I'm really bad" and not much later I heard him talking English to this Mexican girl and he was so goood. FLUENTLY. Not even a Dutch accent. Man. Later he told me he spent some months in Australia as well. And his english was really good. Why say you're really bad in english while you're actually REALLY GOOD?
And then the worst thing.. Last Friday I was doodling in my sketchbook and he was sitting next to me and watching me drawing D: I was drawing my character Devin, I was drawing his toes.. and then he suddenly interrupted and told me
"Uh his thumb is not supposed to be there, it's supposed to be on the other side of the foot and a little higher."
"YEAH. but I'm drawing his toes actually."
"Oh.. okay.."
and then he went like. "What is it? A lion? or something? Ooooh is it an Hyena? It's an Hyena!"
¬__¬ it was supposed to look like a maned wolf, or at least like a canine, thank you very much.
then I was drawing this little thing with goggles and a hat. And he was all HAHAHAHA so I asked him why he was laughing. And he told me that my drawing was funny. And then I drew a Donald Duck and he laughed again. And then I drew a Dolphin and he was all "I can see that's a Dolphin but it looks really bad.." WTF. HELLO. I DIDN'T ASK FOR YOUR OPINION.
And not much later he suddenly said "Draw a Harley Davidson helmet." Wut? He kept begging me so I drew one. (Very random, a Harley Davidson Helmet o_o) and then he wanted me to draw a Harley Davidson Bike. I didn't. So then he told me to draw a book, and I did, then I had to draw a candle, then a hoodie (he said: You know what a hoodie is right? OFCOURSE I DO. PFF.) and then a chair. And then he said. Draw the summer. And I was like 'Huh?' and he laughed "Yeah gotcha, you can't draw the summer! See what I did? I let you draw objects but you can't really draw summer!"
smaaarrrrt. ¬___¬ Oh and he also compared my way of drawing with his grandpa 'You draw the same way as my grandpa, with those sketchy lines'
And he was criticizing my handwriting.

This guy seriously needs to learn to shut up! He's rude and ahh, I just can't stand him. x___x
Sorry for the big rant, I really needed to get this off my chest o___o
so, on to the next point xD

• POONIX
Crazy ~Phoenixchi is coming over from the 28th of December until the 4th of January. HIDE EVERYBODY! Haha no just kidding, I'm really looking forward to it. I spent 5 days at her place during Summer and it was awesome. I really am looking forward to celebrate New Years with her :3
Now if only Australia wasn't so far away D: -pokes buddies-

• New account! Help! Opinions needed : )
Yeaah I'm thinking of creating a new account her on dA for my photo's. Right now I have more than 8500 photo's on my computer and I want to share them with you. But not on this account, I don't want to mix my drawings with my photography. But I'm stuck on a name for my new account D: Do you have any ideas?
My name here on the internet is Cayaa, but my real name is ^Kim I hope you can help me with ideas!

• CHRISTMAS
YEAH JUST A FEW DAYS LEFT UNTIL CHRISTMAS WHOO! I can't WAIT! My family is making wishlists right now but I can't think of anything D: All I wrote on it is the dvd of John Mayer: Live in Los Angeles and a subscription for dA xD I reallyreally want a subscription again x__x
I feel like asking a game for the Wii, any recommendations? Adam? Chrono? I consider you two the experts : P I'm thinking of Rayman: Raving Rabbits 2. loved that game. But then again I'm not sure if that game gets boring. Any ideas?
So what's on your wishlists? :3
AND WHAT'S YOUR FAVOURITE CHRISTMAS SONG? OR SONGS? I LOVE Christmas songs so much. I only have a small collection of Christmas songs on my iTunes right now, I need to expand it D:

I love Christmas
Also, if you want to receive a CHRISTMAS CARD from me, better send me your address in a note 8D I'm sure y'all want one ;D -rofl-

• ART
OH ART. Yeah.
I owe *kaziczek-wolf my half of the spam trade, I have the sketch done :3
and I owe ~malikaa my half of our trade. Worry not, I will get it done
Besides that I am really really tempted to make a few new characters xD But I first need to draw my characters a ref sheet because most of them don't even have a design yet o___o

• Apologies
I have to make a lot of apologies. Apologies to *kaziczek-wolf & ~malikaa for being so slow with my part of the trade D:
Apologies to Adam and Chrono for not replying to their RPs for so long. Even more apologies to Adam and Chrono because I am always apologising to them for being so slow with everything D:
Apologies to everyone else who cares, for not being online for so long and for being so .. slow with art and stuff D:
OH and apologies to everyone who read the WHOLE journal, ITS HUGE. Sorry! I did try to make it organised though : P I hope I get that subbie for Xmas so I can get myself a nice CSS 8D

• THE END
YES. I think I've said most of the things I wanted to say... I'm sure I forgot something but this journal is HUGE already so I'll just stop talking.

If you read every single thing here, thank you so much
and if you read every single thing and comment too, THANK YOU SOSO MUCH

also. MADAGASCAR 2 IS AN AWESOME MOVIE <3 I laughed a lot :'D My cousin laughed so hard that everyone was looking at her. ROFL.

Thanks for reading <3

~ Cayaa}

19 Comments

Mood: Tired
Listening to: The Greatest Remixes - Good Charlotte
Watching: Grey's Anatomy
Eating: Pepernoten

:(

Wed Nov 5, 2008, 7:35 AM

^{Hello everyone,

I haven't been very active much lately, because of school. It's very time consuming @__@ but today I had the day off and I started working through my messages. I started off quite well actually, haha.
Until me and my family got a very bad message.

I deleted all my messages. The deviations, the comments and the journals. I'm sorry, I just don't feel like going through all my messages right now. And I'm afraid I won't be in the mood to do it for the next few days. I'm sorry.

~ Cayaa

Trades: CLOSED
Trades are still being worked on
[link] for *malikaa
[link] for *kaziczek-wolf}

14 Comments

Mood: Emotional
Listening to: You're Gone - Good Charlotte

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Shoutbox

=cayaa: MM REALLY? ROFL. WHY'S THAT?
Thu Apr 30, 2009, 10:15 AM
~Brittany-shadowwolf: MMMM YOUR SHOUT BOARD MAKES ME WET. ;D
Thu Apr 2, 2009, 1:52 PM
=woopidoo2: boe
Wed Apr 1, 2009, 11:24 AM
=cayaa: GET OFF MY SHOUTBOARD YOU AAKJAHKLDJHA K
Thu Mar 26, 2009, 10:45 AM
~Luvythicus: DID YOU DO YIFFINGS ALREADY?
Thu Mar 26, 2009, 10:43 AM
=cayaa: LUVY STOP STALKING MAH SHOUTBOX YOU SILLY
Thu Mar 26, 2009, 10:37 AM
~Payasa: Tue Feb 12, 2008, 11:39 AM
*IchyCheshire: Mon Dec 10, 2007, 6:45 AM
~etuix: -clings-
Thu Nov 22, 2007, 12:07 PM
~Keaze: Meheekh! Hate to school!
Tue Sep 18, 2007, 11:06 AM
~Cheasta: I'm posting your letter tomorrow 8D fo real <3
Wed Mar 28, 2007, 8:33 AM
~Cheasta: I'm posting your letter tomorrow 8D fo real <3
Wed Mar 28, 2007, 8:33 AM
~satsukii: Jou 's you. :3
Sun Mar 11, 2007, 9:03 PM
~Cheasta: *panda eyes*
Sun Mar 4, 2007, 9:28 AM
=cayaa: TAMU QUIET YOU. XD
Sun Mar 4, 2007, 9:24 AM
=cayaa: Hello sexy husband :3 -feeds-
Sun Mar 4, 2007, 9:24 AM
~Cheasta: *randomly pokes the (dirty! ) lime milkshake*
Sat Feb 24, 2007, 1:08 PM
~Cheasta: *bounces* Cayaa is squishable
Fri Feb 23, 2007, 5:44 AM
~Sylvarant: HI WIFEY. Can I have a cookie plz?
Thu Feb 22, 2007, 6:25 AM
~Phoenixchi: My shoe loves Cayaa
Thu Feb 22, 2007, 3:56 AM